I ONCE heard of a man in America who had amassed a collection of over 30000 jazz discs. Listening to that lot solidly for eight hours a day would take over 10 years. Even shuffling through so vast a collection would take quite a while.

My own collection of about 300 Classical LPs looks tiny besides so large a mass of music. I play through one LP a week as background to Sunday lunch and that is about it. Getting through 300 would take about six years at this rate. Longer, as I tend to play and replay my favourites, and pass over the rest.

I also collect stereoscopic photo slides. Hold on while I check the files ... I now have 11619 of these. Most taken by myself, some exchanged with enthusiasts all over the world. And many copied from old stereo pairs looked at through what looks like horse blinkers on a stick.

The sad truth being that I can no longer add to my collection. Although I have four stereo cameras I can no longer obtain film for any of them. But I see that a stereo digital camera has been announced in Japan.

In the meantime, my collection stays stuck at 11619. If I were to sit down to examine each slide in a hand viewer at the rate of one minute, and look eight hours a day – then viewing the whole lot would take me almost a month.

The secret to over-collecting, I suppose, is to choose a collectable that is rare. Something like gold coins. But this could become expensive, even though it is an investment. Porcelain figurines are a better example. Attractive specimens can be sought in antique shops all over and prices can be reasonable until you drop one.

Stamps. Ah! In the last century ... hang on .... in the previous to last century my grandfather had a stamp album which I, as a boy, used to marvel over.

It was a large album and it had space for every stamp that had ever been issued. With a stamp-sized illustration at the start of each series, and spaces marked out for all the rest. All a stamp collector – sorry philatelist – had to do in those days was find where a stamp fitted.

Today there are far too many stamps. Even with narrow specialisation there are too many.

Bird song. Here’s a good one. Don’t just twitch and find a rare bird. Take along a recorder and a tele-mike and capture the glorious song for posterity.

Problem with this is what to do with the recording? No good in its original state, one little tweet among many long stretches of silence. Best would be to re-record all the tweets.

But then what would you do with it? Play it to a captive audience? Not the most inspiring of treats.

Creative teaspoons, china cats, African beadwork, buttons, badges and brooches. All of these items and many more, are being collected all over.

Autographs is an interesting one. Eager youngsters behind barriers all pleading for a popular sport star’s autograph. Then what? Keep the balls in glass cases, refuse to wash? No, wait for the next opportunity to get another.

My mother’s autograph book of 1919 worked to quite a different system. It was coloured pages and had been passed around her friends for their contributions. Amateur poets and writers were more talented in those leisurely days. Most of their entries are very good indeed.

Collecting for me reached manic heights in Italy during the World War. Off-duty airmen started to wander into a nearby bombed out village to collect articles to dress up their tents. A rare vase would be typically filled with wild flowers.

Small items of furniture was the next thing, leading to a lorry being sent out to bring in a grand piano for the old barn. Nobody could play but one man would lie across the open top and sort of strum chords like a harp.

The ultimate came when the aircraft recovery crane was sent out to bring in a statue from a town. This was a knight in armour on a horse cast in bronze. I have no doubt that it still stands there, on a field in Italy, to this day.